


Submerged

by SM (abcdefuk_off)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 3x02, 3x03, Angst, Episode Tag, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Lot of feelings, Protective Buck, Protective Eddie, as far as relationship goes im sticking to what is canon at this point, but if you squint you will see more, hurt Buck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-01-31 19:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21451219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abcdefuk_off/pseuds/SM
Summary: The fight to save the ones that you love is the most difficult and most important struggle any soul can go through.Buck promised to hold on tight to Christopher and never let him go as the water worked to rip them apart.  Now Eddie is promising to do the very same for Buck, as both old and new wounds threaten to steal him away.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz
Comments: 40
Kudos: 237





	1. Chapter 1

The rescue raft was full, had been for awhile now. 

Eddie and Chimney were directing it further inland, trying to get everyone to safety, but along the way they kept their eyes peeled for more people. The emergency transportation couldn’t handle so much as one more body without the weight capacity being exceeded, which it probably already was; but they were making note and radioing in the location of those who were still stranded and in need of rescue, as well as bodies that would need to be picked up and brought in for identification. 

Eddie shifted on the small lifeboat, careful not to upset the precarious weight balance of the fully-loaded blow-up vessel, as he stared out into the water that had – just hours ago – been dry land bustling with activity. 

That was when he spotted the firetruck, his eyes only tracking to it initially because, well, it was a _firetruck_ that was nearly fully submerged in water. All that was visible of the large vehicle was the top of it, the bright red and silver metal glistening beneath the orange glow of the sunset. If Eddie hadn’t been so captivated by the drowned fire engine, he wouldn’t have concentrated on it long enough to spot the figure hidden in the shadowed bed of the truck. 

“Chim.” He prompted, nodding towards the vehicle.

The older man indicated his understanding as he directed the raft a little closer to the right side of the street they were travelling down. 

Eddie craned his neck, trying to get a clearer image of the figure that appeared to be laying on the top of the vehicle. It didn’t appear to be moving. He winced as he pulled out his flashlight, almost not wanting to turn it on and illuminate the scene, he had seen enough dead bodies in the past several hours to have him flashing back to his time oversees. 

He swallowed, ignoring the sick feeling in his stomach and strengthening his resolve as he flicked on his flashlight and aimed it at the truck. 

Yes, there was definitely a person huddled into itself in the bed of the red fire engine. From the distance Eddie wasn’t able to see any movement, what he could see, what had his breath catching in his throat, was a pink shirt – a pink shirt that looked an awful lot like the one Buck had been wearing in the picture he had sent of him and Christopher. 

But it couldn’t be Buck. 

There was no way it could be Buck.

Buck was at the movies with Eddie’s son, well the two probably weren’t there anymore, but the had been. Buck had probably taken Christopher back to his place when the disaster happened, he was probably there now trying to distract the young boy from the panic hitting the city. Because that’s what Buck would do, he would protect that child from everything, including the fear of reality. Buck would be trying to keep Christopher’s thoughts free of concern, even as his own mind was probably full of it. Buck would be sitting there with Eddie’s son, checking his phone constantly for updates, worrying about his firehouse family, and hating that he wasn’t here with them all at the same time. 

Because that was who Buck was. 

So, it couldn’t possibly be him in that truck. 

And yet…

“Buck!” Eddie called, his heart beating violently inside of his chest.

He noticed Chimney’s head snap up at his shout, as the raft began moving with more speed towards the truck. 

“Buck!” Eddie shouted past the bile that had climbed up his throat as the curled figure became frighteningly more familiar with every second that passed by. 

He tried to steady his hand to keep the beam of the flashlight from shaking, shifting closer to the edge of the raft and doing all he could to keep from jumping off the damn thing and just swimming the remainder of the distance. 

“Buck!” He hollered, louder this time, not caring how desperate his voice had become, or the curious whispers that were floating around between the rescued people occupying the raft. 

This time there was movement, a head popping up into view. 

A head of curly hair. 

“Christopher!” Eddie cried out.

“Dad?”

The raspy call drifted out across the water, and had Eddie ready to leap from the boat before a firm hand latched onto his arm.

“Just wait a second, we’re nearly there.” Chimney stated.

Eddie’s body thrummed with _need_, but he gave a curt nod, resisting his brash instincts and opting for the more intelligent course of action. 

“I’m coming, buddy! Just stay put!” He instructed. 

Eddie watched his son’s head bob up and down in understanding, trying to stifle his alarm at the fact that Buck still hadn’t moved. 

“C’mon.” He muttered impatiently, getting one leg underneath him and preparing to step off the boat the moment it got close enough to the submerged truck. 

“Hang on.” Chimney grunted as he guided the raft closer. 

Eddie tried to balance caution and urgency as he leapt off the inflated transportation, trying not to set it off balance while rushing towards his son. He slipped on the water-slick metal, but quickly righted himself as he stepped down into the bed of the truck and squatted next to the huddled forms. He was beyond relieved to see that Buck was shivering, because even though that had him concerned, it was the first sign of life the younger man had displayed.

“Dad!” Christopher called, a smile on the face as he wiggled his hand out from the cocoon Buck had created around the young boy with his body. 

Eddie grabbed onto his son’s arm, surprised how warm it was, and reached out to place his hand on those damp curls. 

“How you doing, kiddo? You alright?” He asked, his eyes raking over the little bit of his son that was visible past Buck’s body. 

“Yeah, m’okay. Buck kept me safe, Daddy.” 

“I can see that.” Eddie whispered, emotion clogging his throat as his gaze shifted to the long thin frame curled around his son. “He did really good, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah, he was brave, Dad, brave like you.” Christopher responded, matching Eddie’s quiet volume, sincerity oozing from the young face as it stared intently up at the older firefighter. 

“He was very brave and he kept you safe, and now we have to do the same for him, right? We have to help keep him safe.” 

Christopher nodded along with the declaration, his serious expression indicating how firmly he agreed. 

“I’ve got to take a look at him, okay? And make sure that he’s doing alright. So I need to move you away, just so I can look after him, just like he looked after you.” Eddie explained. He could tell that his son was in a fragile state, could tell by the way that the boy hadn’t even attempted to extract himself from Buck’s hold, that the kid was feeling safe exactly where he was. The last thing Eddie wanted to do was mess with that, but he needed to get both his boys out of there, and he needed to check how his best friend was fairing – Buck had yet to do anything but shiver.

It took a moment of what appeared to be deep consideration, before Christopher finally gave the okay, nodding his permission. 

Eddie smiled reassuringly as he shifted his hand down his son’s arm, managing to find his elbow and using it to tug the small body upwards. He frowned as he was met with resistance. Buck’s arms appeared to have tightened around the slender frame the moment Eddie had tried to pull it away. 

“He promised to hold on tight and not let me go, Daddy.” Christopher rasped out, answering a question that hadn’t yet been posed. 

Eddie nodded, blinking the moisture from his eyes, trying to focus instead of allow himself to be distracted by how blatantly protective his best friend was being over his son. 

It was fucking heartbreaking, but Eddie didn’t have time to think about that. 

Not now. 

He used his other hand to get a firm grasp on Buck’s arm, frowning at how cold to the touch the skin was, and gently tug it, trying to get it off of his son so he could disentangle the two. The course of action yielded no results except to cause Buck’s grip on the small boy to intensify. 

“No.” The defiant exclamation was mumbled, but Eddie heard it all the same and was relieved as fuck that Buck had finally made a sound. 

“It’s okay, Buck, everything is alright. You did good, buddy. Let me take it from here.” Eddie negotiated, unsure of how much his friend was actually able to process in his current condition. 

“Eddie! We’ve got to get going! What’s going on over there?” Chimney hollered from the life raft. 

Eddie stood long enough to catch sight of his co-worker and the boat full of people that still needed to be transported to safety. “Just give me a minute, Chim. Just one minute.” 

The elder firefighter nodded, his face creased in concern as he glanced nervously out at the water. 

Eddie squatted back down and tried once more to tug his son free from Buck’s long arms, with absolutely no success. He huffed a frustrated sound and grabbed onto his friend’s wrist, only to release it just as quickly when Buck flinched and whimpered at the contact. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, buddy.” Eddie apologized, his heart beating faster as he looked at the hand that he had used to grab Buck and saw it stained in red. He swallowed thickly, it was bad enough Buck was bleeding, but with him on blood thinners it made everything so much more frightening. 

Eddie got down close, hovering right over the pair, his fingers brushing comfortingly through Christopher’s curls as he got as close to Buck as he could manage without putting any weight on him – fearful of unintentionally causing greater harm. 

He reached down, grasping Buck’s chin, feeling the slight hair growth on the usually clean-shaven face scratch his palm, as he tilted that familiar too-pale face up to meet his own. 

“Open your eyes, Buck.” He ordered, his thumb rubbing rhythmically across that strong jawline. “Evan, eyes on me.” He instructed again, louder this time. 

The only response he received was a moan and an attempt to pull away, causing his grip to tighten on Buck’s chin. 

“Come on, buddy. Please.” He begged softly, hoping his kid didn’t hear the desperation that had seeped into his tone, he didn’t want Christopher ever feeling even half as terrified as Eddie was in the current moment. 

He released a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding as a pair of eyelids were slowly forced up out of the way. 

“There are those famous baby blues.” He greeted, pride fluttering through his chest as he watched Buck’s gaze fight to focus on him. 

“Eddie?” Buck slurred, his eyebrows scrunching together.

“The one and only.” 

Buck’s brow only creased further at the comment, so Eddie elected to simplify his response, for the sake of clarity. 

“Yeah, buddy. It’s me. It’s Eddie.” 

Some of the confusion faded from Buck’s expression, only to be replace a moment later with a look of absolute terror. 

“Christopher?” Buck croaked, the urgency in his tone coming across loud and clear despite how wrecked his voice was. 

“You got him. He’s right here. You saved him, Buck. You did real good.” Eddie declared, tears clouding his gaze as he sniffed, trying to regain control of his emotions.

Buck visibly calmed at the reassurance, his long frame relaxing as the tension that had kept it so taught appeared to dissolve. 

Eddie heard Chimney yelling for him, but didn’t allow it to distract him from what he was doing. 

“Buck, I need you to let go of Chris, alright?” 

The moment the two simple words ‘let’ and ‘go’ left Eddie’s lips, Buck instantly tightened his grip. “Can’t. Promised I’d hold on. Promised I’d keep ‘im safe.” The younger man argued, desperation and exhaustion and _pain_ pouring out of him. 

“You did, Buck. You did. You kept him safe. You have to let me take him now, okay? I have to get him further inland.” 

Eddie felt his calves and thighs burning due to the uncomfortable position he was working to maintain, but he paid it no mind as he watched his friend visibly mauling over the words that had been spoken. 

“Get ‘im further in? ‘way from the water?” Buck inquired through chattering teeth. 

“Exactly. Away from the water, where he’ll be safe.” 

Buck nodded, Eddie’s hand moving up and down with his head. The long arms relaxed, not pulling away from the small body, but no longer securing it in place against the larger one. 

Eddie took that as all the permission he was going to get, and scooted back so he could pull Christopher out of the cocoon that was Buck. 

The young boy tensed for a moment at being removed from the grip that had kept him safe for God knows how long, but when he opened his eyes he smiled and reached for his dad, allowing himself to be pulled free. 

Buck released a broken sound once the child was removed from his grip, and it had Eddie’s heart clenching painfully inside his chest. 

“I’ve got him, Buck. I’ve got him.” He promised, reaching down to place his hand against his friend’s cheek, cupping it as he caught the bleary gaze that stared up at him. Buck nodded into his hand once again, before letting his head fall back onto the metal surface. 

Eddie watched as the long frame curled into itself, the shivers that had been continually running through it appearing to intensify now that the young man was alone. Eddie swallowed, forcing himself to move away, the need to get his son to safety being the only possible motivation strong enough to remove him from Buck’s side. He stumbled his way up out of the bed of the truck and across the red roof to the rescue boat that was bobbing in the water nearby. 

“Is Buck…is he?” Chimney stuttered out as he reached to take the child Eddie was handing over to him. 

“He’s alive. I got him responding, sort of, but he’s hurt. He’s bleeding.” The medic relayed, not sounding nearly as clinical as he had always managed to sound before. 

But he supposed there was no chance in detaching himself. 

This was Buck, after all. 

The boat dipped when Chimney carefully settled Christopher down next to him. 

The two firefighters looked at each other, both knowing what had to be said, but refusing to be the one to say it. The raft was already too full, weight capacity over maximum, and there wasn’t a chance of getting either Buck or Eddie on that boat, least of all both of them. As desperate as they were to get them all to safety, they couldn’t risk it. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if the damn life raft submerged in the water. Then they would all be at risk, especially someone injured like Buck who wasn’t currently capable of swimming to safety. 

“I’ll stay with Buck, you take everyone back.” Chimney stated. 

Eddie shook his head. “No. You’re lighter than me, and you’ve got a better chance of getting that thing to solid land than I do.” 

Chimney was the more experienced firefighter and had been handling the boat with ease all afternoon, he was the logical choice. 

“But Christopher –

Eddie nodded, he understood the decision he was making, but he saw no other way. He didn’t want to leave his son, but he knew Chimney could get Christopher to safety faster and more efficiently that Eddie would be able to, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to keep the kid behind stranded on a firetruck with him. 

He had to go with the decision that was best for his son, even if it meant them being separated. 

And wasn’t that just the worst fucking thing on the planet. 

Being a parent sucked-ass sometimes. 

“I’ll get him to Hen, she’s over at the field hospital. She’ll keep an eye on him until we can get you two over there. I’ll radio out to send someone over, you won’t have to wait long.” 

Eddie nodded, grateful Chimney was taking control. He leaned closer to the boat, reaching down to brush his hand through those messy curls. 

Christopher looked up at him. 

“You be good for Chimney, okay? I’ll see you in a bit.” 

“You’re not coming?” The boy asked, confusion on his face and something far too close to distress in his voice. 

Eddie smiled, hoping to put his kid at ease. “Buddy, Buck isn’t ready to travel just yet.” 

“Because he’s tired? He said he was really tired.” 

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, he’s real tired. So I’m going to stay with him a bit, so he can get some rest, and then Chimney’s going to come back and get us as soon as he takes you to go see Hen. Okay, kiddo?” 

Christopher nodded solemnly. “You’ll keep Buck safe, right, Dad? Like he kept me safe?”

Eddie swallowed down the emotion threatening to clog his throat. “I will. I promise.” He vowed, running his hand through his son’s hair once more, before straightening up. 

He and Chimney stared at each other a moment, both making silent promises, before the elder firefighter began to direct the raft away from the truck and down the flooded street. Eddie smiled as he saw Chimney duck down next to his son, overhearing him ask Christopher to be his assistant before placing a flashlight in his hand. The sight of his child’s smile gave Eddie the reassurance he needed to tear his eyes away from the disappearing boat. 

He rushed back to Buck, kneeling down next to the shivering form, wishing that he hadn’t run out of emergency blankets hours ago. He placed gentle pressure on the younger man’s shoulder and knee, forcing him to uncurl. 

Buck huffed a displeased sound, cracking an eye open as he glared up at Eddie, his shivering increasing now that he couldn’t huddle in on himself for warmth.

“Sorry, Buck, I’ve just got to get a look at you.” He apologized as he gently grabbed the arm he had been holding before, gently turning it over in his grasp, trying not to be alarmed by the amount of blood that drenched it. Eddie squinted, pulling his flashlight back out of his pocket, flicking it on and putting it in his mouth so he could shine light on the limb while using both hands to carefully find the injury. There was a jagged laceration down near Buck’s wrist that appeared to be the source of the alarming amounts of blood. Eddie unbutton his top, untucking his undershirt and ripping a strip off it, which he then used as a field bandaged, wrapping it around the wound. Buck’s long body jerked as the fabric was tied tight around his arm. 

“Easy, Ev, take it easy.” Eddie cooed as he placed a stilling hand on Buck’s shoulder to keep him from moving around too much. 

The tall frame remained tense for another few seconds before slowly beginning to relax. 

“Where else, Buck? Huh? Where else are you hurt?” Eddie questioned, hoping for a response but not really expecting one as he ran the beam of the flashlight and his calculating gaze over his friend. 

Buck’s face was scratched up pretty good, but there didn’t seem to be any bumps on his head, which was a relief because the lack of response had Eddie worried about a fairly severe concussion. He carefully felt his way down both of those lanky legs, nervous when he neared the bottom of the left one, where Buck’s crush injury had been located. The limb twitched and Buck hissed when Eddie reached his ankle, but one look told him no bones had been re-broken, it was likely just an old wound that had been aggravated by the events of the day. 

Eddie shifted, his clinical touch moving up the long body, stalling the moment contact with that boney hip caused Buck to release a sound that was too close to a whimper for Eddie to be okay with. He carefully lifted the white shirt up and out of the way, frowning down at the dark bruise that was imprinted on the right hip. Eddie gently tugged the waistband of Buck’s jeans down a tad to follow the dark colouring, he frowned at how large and dark the bruise already was. He tried to turn the younger man onto his back, wanting to get a look at his other hip, but the thin frame refused to budge. 

“Buck, I need to roll you on your back.” He explained, stretching up closer to his friend’s head as he tried once again to shift him, but Buck tensed, not allowing himself to be moved. 

Eddie frowned, reaching up and sliding his hand along the stubbled jawline, gently rubbing his thumb across Buck’s cheekbone – patiently waiting until two blue eyes peaked out at him. 

“What’s going on?” Eddie asked. 

Buck’s lips moved, but not a sound came out of them. Eddie leaned in closer, their foreheads almost touching. 

“One more time, Ev.” He pleaded softly. 

Buck’s tongue peaked out and wet his red lips. “It hurts.” He rasped. 

Eddie clenched his jaw and swallowed his panic, doing his best to remain calm and steady, because that was what his best friend needed from him. “What hurts, buddy?” He questioned. 

Buck sucked in a breath that rattled in his chest – Eddie’s medical mind immediately recognizing by the sound that the firefighter had water in his lungs – before answering. “Back.” He croaked. 

“Your back hurts?” 

The slight nod sent a strike of fear through Eddie’s chest. He hadn’t checked for a neck injury because of how easily Buck had been able to move his head before, but he should have considered a spinal injury. Buck’s back was lined up with the edge of the bed of the truck, so in order to see it, Eddie had to shift him forward a few inches. 

“Okay, I’m just going to slide you over a bit so I can get a look at your back.” 

Buck nodded, beginning to wiggle himself forward on his own. 

“Take it easy.” Eddie warned as he helped guide his friend over just enough to allow him to climb behind him. It was too dark to see much, the slight orange glow left behind by the sun not casting enough light for Eddie to make out anything other than the fact that Buck’s pink shirt was soaked – but that was to be expected. Eddie flicked the flashlight back on and aimed the beam at his friend’s back, his stomach dropping at what he saw. 

Buck’s shirt wasn’t soaked with water, it was drenched in _blood_. 

Eddie swallowed the bile and fear that climbed up his throat at the sight. 

“I just – I need to take this shirt off, alright?” Eddie warned, reaching around to slide the pink button-up off Buck’s shoulder. 

“M’cold.” The younger man pouted, even as he allowed himself to be maneuvered out of the clothing. 

“I know, buddy, we’re going to fix that next, I promise.” 

Buck remained silent, but his bottom lip protruded in a pout that would have made Eddie laugh in any other situation. 

But not this one. 

Eddie took one shirt off, cringing at how stained the t-shirt beneath was as well. He didn’t want to cause Buck any unnecessary pain by having to Houdini him out of the top, so he simply rolled it up to his armpits. 

Buck’s body trembled as a shiver visibly ripped through it, Eddie placing an apologetic touch on a blessedly unmarred section of skin low on his friend’s spine as he surveyed the damage. 

The pale skin was scraped and scratched all over, but Eddie’s main concern was a long laceration across the width of Bucks back, just below his shoulder blades. It was too deep and bleeding too much, even without the anticoagulants Buck was taking, the injury would be concerning.

Eddie clenched his jaw, he should have found a way to get Buck on that damn boat, he should have pulled someone off to wait with him and sent the injured man ahead. Eddie shook his head at himself, his frustrations over what he could have done wouldn’t help Buck, not now. 

He folded the button-up horizontally and wrapped it around the slim frame, knotting it in place over the laceration to keep pressure on it. Buck groaned as the make-shift bandage was secured tightly around him. 

“Sorry.” Eddie apologized, his palm resting on the back of Buck’s neck and squeezing comfortingly. He was about to tug the t-shirt back down, when he spotted the dark colouring on his friend’s chest. He tried to ignore how his hand shook when he carefully traced the bones beneath the bruising. 

His insides twisting as he felt two ribs give-way beneath his touch.

“Fuck.” Buck cursed, hissing a pained sound as he jerked back. 

“Looks like you’ve got yourself a couple broken ribs there, Buck.” Eddie announced, wishing he sounded as confident as he usually did when he was trying to put civilians at ease. 

Buck’s only response was to groan and curl in on himself. 

Eddie mentally catalogued each of the younger man’s injuries as he gently tugged his t-shirt back down to provide the cold man with some sort of coverage. The firefighter stood, glancing around, frowning when there wasn’t a rescue boat in sight. 

“Guess it’s just going to be you and me a little longer.” He narrated, stepping over the shivering form.

“Cold.” Buck whispered through clenched teeth, his body trembling harder as if to further prove his point. 

“I know.” Eddie muttered sympathetically. He sat himself down next to his friend, leaning against the metal side of the truck bed and stretching his legs out in front of him. “C’mere.” He encouraged as he gently brought Buck closer, situating the long thin frame between his legs and moving him up to rest against his chest. Buck’s shoulder dug uncomfortably into Eddie’s chest, but he paid it no mind, knowing that he couldn’t turn the younger man to lie on his front or his back due to his various injuries. 

He brought Buck’s wounded wrist up to rest on his chest, to keep it elevated and hopefully relatively clean. 

He held the slim frame closer as he felt it shutter. Buck nuzzled into Eddie as he settled against him, the tension finally dissolving and allowing that long body to go lax – save for the occasional shiver. 

Eddie was glad his friend was finally feeling warmer and hopefully in a little less pain, but was worried he would fall asleep. It had taken the firefighter so long to rouse the injured man, the last thing he wanted was for him to fade away again. 

“Hey, Buck. Stay awake for me, buddy.” He requested. 

The only response he received was a discontent moan that vibrated through his chest. 

“What happened to your back, huh? Do you remember?” Eddie prompted. 

“Debris.” Buck muttered in response. 

“Debris? What kind of debris?” 

“Don’t know.” The younger man sighed, sounding as though he was falling to sleep. 

“Hey, come on. Explain what happened to you – what happened to Christopher.” 

The mention of Eddie’s son had Buck instantly becoming more alert. 

“Christopher! Where is he?” He asked, squirming against Eddie’s chest, his face screwing up in a look of pain even as he continued to try and push himself up, his head turning rapidly from side to side.

“Hey, easy. He’s safe, Buck. You kept him safe. He’s with Chim, on dry land.” The older man explained, running his hand soothingly up and down Buck’s upper right arm, while holding tight to keep him from moving away. 

It seemed to take a moment for the words to filter through the fog Eddie was certain was clouding up his friend’s head, but eventually the fight left the wounded body and Buck collapsed back against him.

“Christopher didn’t have a mark on him.” Eddie spoke, he had given his son a brief but thorough look over and other than a few scratches, had seen no damage on the little boy. “How’d you manage that, huh Buck? How’d you end up so banged up, but keep Chris so safe?” 

“Didn’t. Lost him.” Buck whispered, the words sounding like a dark confession. 

“No, babe, you didn’t. He was here with you and now he is with Chimney. You didn’t lose him.” Eddie insisted. 

“I did. Underwater. I was with him when the wave hit – but then he was gone.” Buck relayed, his voice cracking in despair was enough to have Eddie’s heart clenching, but the way those giant blue eyes looked up at him glimmering with unshed tears was enough to almost overwhelm the firefighter. “M’so sorry, Ed.” Buck rasped.

“Hey, no. None of that. You kept Christopher safe. You’re his hero, Buck – you’re my hero. Don’t ever apologize for that.” Eddie declared, using his stern dad-voice, because he wouldn’t for a second listen to Buck apologize for anything. His best friend had saved his child, he had nothing to be sorry for. 

“But I lost him.” Buck pointed out, looking and sounding almost as young as Christopher as he stared up at Eddie. 

“But then you found him.” Eddie stated, sliding his hand up to the back of the blonde’s neck and squeezing it comfortingly. 

“Yeah, I found him.” Buck sighed, as he rested his cheek back down on Eddie’s chest, his head moving up and down against the button-up shirt in a nod. 

“Then what happened?” Eddie encouraged, both out of curiosity and a need to keep the injured man conscious. 

Buck inhaled a deep breath, the sound wet and rattling – making Eddie’s heart beat faster as fear trickled through his veins. 

“Come on, Buck. What happened after you found him?” He asked. 

Buck took a moment longer than Eddie was comfortable with to respond, but eventually he managed to croak out a reply. “Just swam. Held on and swam. Shit, Eddie, felt like we swam forever.” 

Eddie could tell that his friend’s energy was completely depleted and was beginning to think that the shivers racing through that slim frame might not be just from the chill in the water and night air but muscles quaking with exhaustion and the blood loss.

“Saw the truck, was the only thing out of the water, but it was up stream. It was so hard to get to. When we got to it, I didn’t have enough time.” Buck explained, a wet cough racking his thin form. 

“Have enough time for what?” Eddie asked, his hand hovering over his friend’s back where he was about to rub it, but stopped when he remembered the laceration across it. 

“To get Christ up. Couldn’t get him up on the truck before the debris was going to hit – I wanted to get him up and safe before it hit us, but I didn’t have time and I couldn’t dive under because he was still trying to catch his breath.” Buck sucked in one of his own shaky inhales before he continued. “So I just had to keep him between me and the truck.” 

Eddie swallowed, emotion clogging his throat. “That’s how you got hurt? The debris hit you while you were protecting Christopher?” He asked, his hand shaking as he smoothed back the wet hair on Buck’s head. 

The younger man nodded against his chest. “Yeah. Almost let go though. There was so much of it and it hit me so hard. It hurt so bad…I was so scared I was going to let go and lose him again.” Buck revealed, his tone haunted as he shivered, worming impossibly closer to Eddie. 

The firefighter blinked the tears from his eyes, the image of his best friend sacrificing his body to protect his kid almost too much for him to handle in the moment. 

“You didn’t lose him. You saved him, Buck. You saved him.” He whispered, placing a chaste kiss on Buck’s brow, not missing the soft smile that pulled at those full lips in response.

Eddie glanced out at the water, frowning at the absence of any approaching rescue raft. He hadn’t thought they would have to wait so long for aid and with Buck in need of medical care, Eddie didn’t want to wait a moment longer. 

But he had no choice. He wasn’t going to risk dragging his injured friend into that cold filthy water. 

He frowned down at Buck who had gone far too still against him, his chest was still expanding, but his breaths sounded wet and shallow and his eyes were closed. 

“Hey, come on, wake up!” He instructed, lightly jostling the body in his arms. 

Buck groaned a miserable sound, his eyes remaining closed as he pressed his face into Eddie’s chest, as though he was trying to escape the outside world by borrowing into the other man. 

“Stay awake, Buck.” Eddie demanded, his tone harsh as fear crawled up his throat. 

“Why?” The blonde boy mumbled against his chest. 

“Because you’ve lost a lot of blood and I can’t have you going into shock.” 

“Why?”

Eddie frowned at the question. “Umm, because shock is bad and it could kill you.” He pointed out bluntly. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Buck slurred. 

Eddie flinched at the comment, the dismissive words striking terror through his heart. “What the hell are you talking about? Of course it matters!” 

“Doesn’t.” 

“It does! You need to stay alive. People need you!” Eddie declared, his mind reeling at the fact that this conversation was even happening. 

“Nobody needs me.” Buck whispered the words barely loud enough for the older man to hear. 

“Just because you’re not a firefighter right now does _not_ mean that nobody needs you.” Eddie explained with a sigh, knowing that his best friend had the majority of his self-worth tied up in his chosen career, and was feeling particularly lost without it. “Lots of people still need you. How about your family? Your parents?” 

The moment that last word left Eddie’s lips he felt Buck flinch against him and he knew he had fucked up. He tightened his hold on the younger man as he began to pull away. He didn’t know what the deal was with Evan’s parents – he had been wanting to figure it out but hadn’t figured out how or who to ask about something personal like that – but he knew enough to know that they were alive and something had to be seriously wrong with them. Maddie had been abducted and beaten by her piece of shit ex-husband and Buck had been crushed and nearly killed under a firetruck, Eddie had stayed close during both traumas and throughout the aftermath - and not once had there been a single sighting or mention of their parents. 

“What about Maddie? She needs you.” Eddie added, diverting from his previous comment, relieved when Buck stopped trying to pull away and settled back against his chest. 

“She has Chim.” 

“So? That doesn’t mean she doesn’t still need her brother.”

“I didn’t keep her safe.” 

Eddie clenched his jaw at the broken confession. “I thought we already talked about this. What happened to Maddie was _not_ your fault.” 

“Didn’t keep her safe. Chim will. He’ll do better.” Buck slurred.

Eddie wanted to continue with his argument – to make his friend see that he had done _nothing_ wrong, but he could tell all of that would fall on deaf ears, so he made a mental note to tackle that discussion at a later date. 

“What about Bobby? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, buddy, but you’re pretty important to him.” Eddie had sensed the connection between the two as soon as he’d arrived. Bobby was like a father to Buck, and the one Eddie had thought of asking to explain his best friend’s parental situation – because he felt like the older man would know, and that way he wouldn’t have to cause Buck any distress with triggering inquiries. 

“He’s got a new family.” 

Eddie shook his head. “That doesn’t mean anything will change.” 

“He doesn’t need me anymore.” 

“Fine.” Eddie nearly growled, because fucking hell that was so damn far off base, but his barely-conscious friend didn’t seem to have any interest in the facts. 

“What about Christopher? He adores you. He talks about ‘his Buck’ all the time. He needs you.” 

Either the point he was trying to make or the passion in his voice, possibly both, finally got a semi-alert reaction from the injured boy, who finally looked up and cracked those gorgeous blue eyes open. 

“He has you.” Buck stated softly. 

“Of course he does, but he needs more than me. What’s that stupid phrase? It takes a village?” 

“I’m part of your village?” Buck questioned, sounding almost shocked. 

“Of course you are! Babe, you are the most important person in our village. There is nobody on this planet that I trust with my son more than you, Ev.” Eddie proclaimed honestly, cursing himself for not saying as much earlier, obviously Buck didn’t have any idea how important he was to the Diaz family.

The younger man was still looking up at him, his eyes were glassy and slightly unfocussed – likely due to the loss of blood – but Eddie could still read the shock and wonder glowing in the wide gaze. 

“And what about me? Huh? I need you. Buck, you’re my best friend. You’re the only one I’ve been able to depend on in ages. You’ve gotten me through so much. You mean the world to me and my son.” Eddie admitted, his heart pouring out his mouth as he stared down at the wonderful man in his arms. 

The brave, selfless, energetic, kind, soul that Eddie couldn’t imagine living without.

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” He confessed, feeling so raw and exposed but needing to get the words out so that hopefully Buck would truly understand how needed he was. “And don’t you dare make me find out.” He choked out, his hand cupping the pale cheek and swiping away a tear that was sliding down it. 

“I won’t.” Buck rasped, his fingers bunching up Eddie’s shirt as he held on, the grasp weak but the strongest display of fight that the younger man had shown in awhile. 

“Promise?” Eddie whispered, ducking down closer, their foreheads nearly touching. 

“Promise.” Buck replied, his voice husky, but his expression set in a look of confidence that Eddie had seen on it a dozen times in the past – usually right before the brave boy would march into danger to perform a rescue. 

“Good.” Eddie settled with a nod, holding Buck close and praying that they would be saved soon. 

He wouldn’t let Buck down, he refused.

Not after everything that amazing man had done for him, and sure as fuck not after everything he had done for Christopher. 

Eddie’s child would be devastated if he lost ‘his Buck’, his hero. 

Eddie would be too. 

Because Buck had become the third member of their small family

“You promised to hold on tight and not let go of Christopher.”

Buck nodded against his chest. 

“And I promise to hold on tight and not let go of you.” Eddie vowed. 

“Don’t let go.” Buck whispered. 

“I wont. Not ever.” 


	2. Chapter 2

“Stay with me, Buck.” 

“M’cold.” 

“I know, babe, but you’ve got to stay awake.”

“Christopher safe?” Buck rasped, shakily pulling away from where he was resting against Eddie’s chest to look up at him. 

“Yeah, Ev, he’s safe.” The firefighter assured, brushing his hand comfortingly through the damp hair and down across Buck’s shoulders – one of the few spots on the long body that were relatively unmarred. 

“Y’sure?” The injured man questioned, fear displayed on his pale face, shining through his bright blue eyes, and evident in the urgent tone.

“I’m sure. The team has him. He’s okay.” Eddie vowed, staring steadily into the bleary gaze focussed up at him. Buck must have found some assurance either in Eddie’s words or expression, because he nodded slightly, settling back against the broad chest. 

“Y’kay, Eds?” Buck asked, his fingers lightly tapping his friend’s abdomen. 

Eddie twitched a fond smile, his hand cupping the back of Buck’s neck and squeezing lightly. “Yeah, buddy, I’m good. As long as your ass stays awake, I’m good.” He replied honestly. 

He felt Buck’s chuckle vibrate against him. “M’trying.” Eddie heard him slur before he was taken over by a rattling cough. 

Eddie’s heart clenched as he tried to steady the slim frame being shaken by the vicious hacking. He wrapped himself tighter around Buck, holding him close as he gently patted him on the unbloodied parts of his back. 

The younger man tried to suck in a breath, but all Eddie heard was a terrible gurgled noise. 

“Eddie.” Buck choked out, his fingers gripping hard at the firefighter’s shirt as he tried once again to take a breath, only managing what sounded like nothing more than a shallow inhale. 

Eddie tried to swallow the panic that slammed into him as he shifted Buck to rest higher up on his chest, wishing that he had any other way to help. 

“C’mon Buck, breathe.” He encouraged, trying to speak past the fear that was lodged in his throat. 

Fingers clawed at his shirt and into his skin, but Eddie disregarded the pain, his focus solely on his best friend who was hacking his lungs out in his arms. 

“Breathe, buddy, just breathe.” Eddie begged, his voice cracking as he propped Buck up higher and patted his back – doing everything he could to help Buck take a breath, cursing the absence of any medical supplies. “Please, Ev. _Please._” 

Tears from either fear, frustration, or pain – perhaps all three -- leaked from those big eyes and trailed down the pale bloodied-face. Eddie thumbed them away, encouraging and pleading with the younger man to just _breathe_. 

He propped Buck up when he began to hack out water, speaking soothingly and smacking on the center of his back to help him expel the liquid. 

Eventually, after way too fucking long, Buck stopped spewing water and collapsed back into Eddie, who used his shirt to wipe the remaining dribbles from Evan’s mouth and chin. 

Now that the coughing fit had ended, Buck managed to gather enough oxygen that he stopped straining his body and the cords in his neck were no longer protruding. He continued to tremble as he held tightly onto Eddie, but he was no longer clawing at him in raw desperation.

His breaths were still coming short and shallow, and Eddie could hear them rattling in Buck’s chest, but at least he was breathing. 

“That’s it, babe, keep at it.” He praised. 

“S’okay.” Buck croaked. 

“I know you are.” 

“No.” Buck shook his head, the minimal movement only detectable because Eddie felt the motions against his chest. 

“What?” 

“S’okay if I don’t make it.” 

“¡Ay, Dios mío! What the fuck are you going on about? I thought we talked about this?” Eddie snapped, scared of having to explain to Buck once again why he had to stay alive – there was only so many times he could pour his heart out in one night. 

His fury only escalated as he saw a smirk pull at those full red lips. 

“S’not what I meant. I’m gonna hold on. Promise. Just wan’ you to know it’s okay. Whatever happens. S’okay.” Buck stated, the explanation stuttered out between wheezing inhales as he clumsily rubbed Eddie’s ribs in a way that was probably intended to be comforting.

“No. It’s not okay. Not at all.” Eddie declared as he blinked away the moisture building up in his eyes, unable to wipe them clear because he refused to let go of Buck for even one fucking second, for fear that he’d slip away. 

“S’okay. You’ll be ‘kay. Good firefighter. Good father.” Buck heaved in another shallow breath. “Good friend.” He sighed. 

“But you make me better at all those things, Buck.” Eddie declared, his voice thick with emotion. 

The pale boy squinted up at him, as though he didn’t understand. 

“Fucking hell, Ev, every day we worked together you made me a stronger firefighter – I’ve seen how brave you are, how fearless, and how much you care, all of that has made me so much better.” 

Eddie swallowed as those wide blue eyes stared up at him in wonder. 

“You have been the greatest friend, the way you just immediately fell in love with my son and how you’ve been there for us – I have never had a better friend than you and just being around you, it makes me a better friend.”

“Ed.” Buck rasped, his hand reaching up, fingertips brushing the underside of the Eddie’s jaw before falling bonelessly back onto his chest, as though he was too weak to hold them up any longer. 

“I was so lost before you came around and helped me find a way to give Chris what he needs. You help me to be a better father, Evan. I can’t do it without you.” Eddie proclaimed, silently cursing the tears that he could feel sliding down his cheeks.

“Eddie.” Buck croaked, looking as though he was about to say more before he began hacking harshly, grinding his forehead into Eddie’s chest – as if he could hide inside it and escape the pain. 

Eddie nearly lost the little composure he was still clinging to as he held the younger man impossibly closer, willing the oxygen into his best friend’s lungs. He was only able to find his own breath after Buck had managed a relatively steady inhale. 

“So it’s not okay.” Eddie surmised, clearing his throat so his words came out loud and clear as he levelled Buck with the most parental look he could muster, being as stern as possible so his friend would understand how fucking serious he was being. 

A bleary gaze studied him for a moment before Buck responded with a slight nod before coughing once again and curling himself into the wider frame. Eddie felt warm unsteady exhales against his neck as Buck tucked his head in close. 

“Just hold on, buddy. I’ll get you out of here. Just hold on.” Eddie begged, praying that help would arrive soon. 

“Okay.” Buck muttered, his lips moving against the hollow of Eddie’s throat, as the long body trembled. 

Eddie tightened his hold, doing everything he could to absorb each tremor that rattled the slender form in his arms. 

They stayed there huddled together for what felt like too fucking long, before Eddie finally heard voices in the distance and saw lights glowing less than a half-mile away. 

“Hey! Over here!” Eddie called out, daring to remove one of hands from where it was secured around Buck and hastily snag the flashlight at his side, flicking it on and waving it above his head through the air.

“Eddie?” 

“Bobby!” The firefighter hollered, relief crashing over him as he tried to sit up straighter to be seen over the edge of the bed of the truck, without disrupting the injured man in his arms. “Bobby! We’re here!” He repeated, shining the beam of light into the sky, desperate to get Buck to safety. 

“I see you! We’re coming.”

Eddie allowed his arm to drop, discarding the flashlight at his side, so much of his anxiety alleviated now that help was here.

“Bobby is coming, Buck. We’re going to get you out here.” He announced, now so much more confident in the promise he had already made half a dozen times. 

The younger man’s only response was a mere twitch of his chilled body and a glassy pair of half-lidded eyes glancing up, but honestly it was shocking enough that Buck was still even a little bit conscious – considering the blood currently soaking through Eddie’s clothes was certainly not his own. 

He tried to swallow the suffocating fear that returned at the thought, as he looked between the approaching rescue boat and the hurting boy in his arms. 

“Bobby, hurry.” He pleaded, paying no mind to the crack in his voice as he rubbed a hand nervously up and down Buck’s upper arm, trying to generate warmth and get some sort of lucid reaction out of the wounded hero. 

Eddie was so focussed on Buck, that he didn’t notice Bobby had found his way onto the submerged firetruck, until he was squatting down right in front of the two boys. 

“How’s he doing?” The older man asked softly, his hand reaching out and grazing over Buck’s pale face. 

Eddie looked up, fighting back tears as he responded with a shaky voice. “Not good.” 

Even in the darkness Eddie could clearly spot the concern creasing his boss’ face, but the stern voice was nothing but confident as it responded. “He’ll be alright, Eddie. We’ll make sure of it.” 

Eddie nodded, clenching his jaw and working to regain control of his emotions, he needed to focus – sobbing like a baby wasn’t going to help Buck. 

“Where’s he hurt? Other than his face, obviously.” Bobby muttered as he gently cupped Buck’s cheek, before his clinical gaze wandered the slim frame.

“His leg is hurting him.” Eddie began, pausing as the captain looked up at him with an alarmed gaze. “I don’t think its been rebroken or anything – probably just sore from all the activity, it wasn’t fully-healed to begin with.” Eddie assured, hoping to ease some of Bobby’s obvious concern. 

The older man nodded, taking in the information and seeming to file away the worry, although the evidence of its existence remained visible even on the stoic expression. 

“He’s covered in scratches and bruises, he’s got some broken ribs, a slice on his arm that won’t stop bleeding, his breathing is shit – sounds like there’s water in his lungs - and there’s a laceration on his back as well that has been bleeding like mad.” Eddie reported, his grip automatically tightening on Buck as he listed off all the many injuries. 

He watched as Bobby gently turned the arm Buck had resting on Eddie’s chest around so that the wound on his wrist and the strip of clothing tied over it was displayed. He heard the elder firefighter curse under his breath, and watched as he ran a hand roughly down his face, before shifting from his crouch to lean over the long body, assessing Buck’s back. 

“He tell you what happened?” He questioned gruffly, his jaw visibly clenching as he shone the beam of his flashlight over the injured boy. 

“He didn’t remember all of it, but he knew he got hit with some debris. His back and right side seem to have taken the brunt of it.” Eddie stated, swallowing thickly at the sight of all the blood on his best friend. 

Bobby nodded along as he opened the first aid pack he had brought with him, rummaging through the dwindling supplies that remained within it.

The pair did what they could with the materials they had, slathering Buck’s largest wounds in antiseptic before bandaging them up best they could in the dark damp environment. 

Eddie continued to hold Buck against him, keeping him still and steady as he was patched up. Bobby muttered a string of apologies as he cinched the compression bandage into place around the slice on the younger man’s wrist, the action causing Evan to jerk and cry out – which was the only reaction he had given since the captain’s arrival. Eddie watching as experienced hands made quick work and found creative ways to try and momentarily close the laceration across Buck’s back before wrapping it up tight and layers upon layers of gauze. 

Once they had done everything they could to staunch the bleeding, Bobby stood tall over the two younger firefighters and glanced back at the life boat, appearing to be devising a course of action. 

“Cap.” Eddie rasped, waiting for Bobby’s eyes to meet his own. “He was protecting Christopher. He shielded my son with his body. He saved him, Bobby - we’ve got to get him out of here.” Eddie pleaded, not caring that his desperation was coming across loud and clear. 

He’d just barely managed to hold everything together when his best friend had been crushed by a truck – Eddie had reached his limit, he didn’t have it in him to be the strong fearless solider, he was nothing more than a terrified best friend. 

“Yeah, we will. It’d be safest to chopper him out – but with all this blood, I don’t think we have that kind of time. We’re going to have to load him up on the boat and try and get him to dry land in one piece.” Bobby stated, obviously not liking his options, but having no choice but to make a decision. 

Eddie nodded, relieved there was a plan of action that involved getting the fuck off that drowned truck, and began to try and shift away out from beneath the injured man. Buck moaned his displeasure, his eyes fluttering open, as Eddie began to pull away. 

“Don’t let go” 

The broken plea and white-knuckled grip on his shirt shattered Eddie’s heart and he immediately stopped moving, leaning forward to catch that weary blue gaze. 

“I’m not letting you go, Ev. Not ever.” He vowed, watching as Buck absorbed the words and his hold on the older firefighter loosened a little in visible relief. “Cap and I just have to get you out of here, alright?” 

It took a moment, but eventually Buck gave a slight not, he still looked confused but didn’t react in alarm when Eddie slid out from beneath him. Bobby kept a steadying hold on the younger man, so that he wasn’t jostled too much. 

“Bobby?” Buck rasped, his shaking fingers reaching out and wrapping loosely around Cap’s forearms as he cocked his head to the side, face scrunched in confusion. Any other day, at any other time, in any other moment, Eddie would have found the expression adorable as fuck – but not now, now he was far too worried for his friend to pay mind to such a menial quirk. 

“Yeah, buddy. It’s me. I’ve got you.” Bobby assured, his lips twisted into something Eddie thought might have been an attempt at a smile, but was far too strained to truly be labeled as such. 

Buck’s head dipped and his body trembled as he was leveraged into a seated position, his busted ribs probably causing a great deal of discomfort – no to mention the rest of his injuries. He curled forward as he began to cough, the wet forceful hacking rattling his whole body. Eddie placed a supportive hand on Buck’s shoulder, as Bobby inched forward to better prop Buck up so he didn’t teeter over. 

The worried firefighters waited nervously until the coughing fit finally came to an end allowing Buck a moment to catch his breath before nodding at each other – both knowing that they had to get him out of there pronto. 

“Think you can stand?” Bobby queried.

Buck nodded at the question and Eddie clenched his jaw – because there was no way in hell the wounded boy would be able to stay on his feet, but heaven forbid Buck just admit to that. 

“We’ll help you.” Bobby assured, as both the firefighters grabbed hold of their friend and pulled him up. 

The long legs shook, just barely holding weight for a moment before the left one buckled. Buck cried out as he began to fall, Eddie and Bobby quickly halting his collapse and supporting either side of him. 

“Sorry.” Buck croaked. 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Eddie dismissed, holding the long frame close to him, grasping tight to Buck’s left hip and pulling his right arm over his shoulders – being cautions not to come in contact with the laceration on his wrist. 

Buck groaned, his long body trembling with strain as they made their way across the roof of the firetruck. Once they arrived in front of the lifeboat, Eddie was relieved to see it was mostly empty, a few people occupying the limited space but it wasn’t too close to capacity. 

“You get on, I’ll pass him to you.” Bobby instructed. 

Eddie nodded at the order, nervous to let go of Buck, but eager to get him to safety. He released his grip on his friend, heart pounding as he watched him sway, before he stepped carefully into the rescue raft, reaching back up with eager hands.

“Alright, Buck. We’re going to get you down into the boat, just hold on.” Bobby narrated as he gently guided him forward. As Buck’s weight was shifted from one support to the next, he gasped softly, the jostled movement clearly causing him pain. 

“Ed?” Buck rasped, his head moving side to side, his squinty gaze looking around. 

“I’m right here, Ev. I’m right here.” He assured as he tried to find spots on the thin frame to hold that weren’t marred with injury. 

“Don’t let go.” Buck pleaded softly, his head lolling forward as his reach for Eddie, faltering as his leg buckled.

“I’ve got you, Buck. Nice and easy, I’ve got you. I’m not letting go.” Eddie pledged, wrapping his trembling best friend in his arms and pulling him into his chest. Buck practically tumbled into him, Eddie accepting the weight, even as he nearly stumbled with the force of it – if they were going to fall he was going to be sure that he was there to cushion the impact. He managed a controlled collapse into the boat, doing his best to keep Buck secured against him. He settled into place, leaning against the edge of the boat, shifting the long body in his arms as minimally as possible. 

The younger man released a choked gasp as he curled into Eddie, an arm wrapping around his damaged ribs, which were bound to be sore as hell. Eddie clenched his jaw, working to swallow his fear as he held on tight to Buck while Bobby boarded the small vessel. 

“Wrap this around him.” Cap instructed as he handed Eddie the only emergency blanket that appeared to be available. 

Eddie nodded mechanically as he unfolded the blanket before spreading it over his best friend, making sure every inch of him was covered, swallowing at the sight of just how much blood coated the younger man. 

“Try to keep him still, Eddie.” Bobby instructed, giving the pair of young firefighters one more worried glance before focussing his attention on directing the boat through the murky waters. 

“Hear that, buddy? I’m supposed to keep you still – a giant ball of energy like you. I think Cap’s setting me up for failure.” Eddie teased softly, the terror around his heart unclenching just a little when Buck’s lips twitched up, a smile ghosting across the pale face. 

It was eerily quiet as they made their way inland. Natural disasters were so jarring that when the world quieted it was unnerving. The land was not doubt still bustling with the chaos of the aftermath – but the drowned peer was uncomfortably silent, likely because most of the survivors had already been rescued and relocated. 

Eddie was doing his best to keep Buck awake and semi-alert but it got more and more difficult as time went by and his friend became weaker and weaker. However, he made sure to monitor Buck’s breathing and heartbeat at all times.

The slim frame in his arms jerked, as if it received a shock. The sudden movement had Eddie frowning as he rested his hand on Buck’s head, surprised when a pair of startled blue eyes looked up to meet him. 

“Chris’pher?” Buck slurred, urgency in his tone, even as he struggled to annunciate. 

“He’s safe, buddy. You saved him and now he’s safe.” Eddie vowed, reassuring his visibly frightened best friend. 

“Hen has him.” Bobby declared glancing over his shoulder from his position at the front of the boat. 

Eddie nodded at the information, before staring back down at the young man still trembling in his arms. “You hear that, Buck? Hen has our boy, and you know she’ll keep a close eye on him.” 

Buck appeared to take a moment to process the information, but eventually he nodded, Eddie’s shirt wrinkling beneath his cheek. 

“We’ll see him real soon, okay? Just stay with me, Ev.” He pleaded softly. 

Buck slowly slid his arm up Eddie’s chest until his palm was resting over the heart that was still pounding with panic. The slender frame shifted impossibly closer as Buck practically nuzzled himself into the broad chest.

It would have been hilarious and fucking adorable – if the sweet interaction wasn’t tainted by blood and trembling limbs, and if hadn’t been accompanied by rattling inhales and harsh coughing – both clear signs Buck was struggling to sufficiently fill his lungs. 

“Bobby.” Eddie called, tearing his gaze away from his struggling best friend long enough to look up, meeting the captain’s eyes. “We’re running out of time.” He croaked. 

Fear flashed across the elder firefighter’s face before his expression was quickly schooled and a curt nod was given. 

“Eds.” Buck rasped through breaths that were becoming increasingly shallow by the minute. 

“Yeah, buddy.” 

“Don’t be mad.” The younger man mumbled, angling his head up just a little so the two sets of eyes could meet. 

“What? Why would I be mad?” Buck had saved Christopher, had done everything possible to protect Eddie’s son, how the fuck could he ever be cross with the brilliant man? 

“If I can’t hold on.” Buck slurred, moisture filling those big blue eyes. 

Terror pierced through Eddie’s soul, seizing his lung and creating a vice around his heart.

“Please don’t be mad, Ed. _Please_.” Buck sobbed, his fingers twitched weekly against Eddie’s chest, as though he was trying to hold on but didn’t have the strength. 

Eddie’s jaw clenched viciously as he worked to reign in the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. He wanted to assure Evan that he had done _nothing_ wrong, that it wasn’t his fault his body was giving out on him. He wanted to promise that he would never – could never – be angry with his best friend for sacrificing himself to keep Eddie’s child safe. 

That was what he wanted to say – that was the truth. 

But he wasn’t about to give Buck permission to leave him or Christopher. 

So instead of telling the truth, Eddie shook his head and dug in his heels. 

“I will be mad.” He proclaimed, his voice shaky but expression stern. 

Buck’s big eyes grew impossibly larger as he stared up at Eddie, looking so fucking lost that the older man nearly lost his nerve. But instead he strengthened his resolve and refused to give in, because giving in could mean losing his best friend, his son’s favourite person, _Buck. _And that - well that was unthinkable. 

“I’ll be furious.” He reaffirmed. 

“M’sorry, Ed. But I can’t.” Buck rasped, each word forced out between shallow stuttered breaths – the fight for oxygen clearly becoming a losing battle. 

Eddie’s heart clenched violently inside of his chest. Buck was fading, he was so pale and weak from blood loss, he had to be in so much pain from bruises and broken bones and heaven knows what else, and his lungs were full of water – each breath becoming more difficult than the last. Holding on, fighting for every drop of air, struggling to stay conscious – it had to be hell, but Eddie refused to allow the hero to give up. He wouldn’t make it easier for Evan to let go, even if that meant denying the wounded boy something he was so desperate for. 

Peace.

“Buckley, if you don’t hold on, I will never forgive.” Eddie vowed, a traitorous tear sneaking past his defenses as he stared down at his friend. 

The younger man flinched, his long fingers contracting against Eddie – trying to grip his shirt in a heartbreakingly frantic way. Eddie placed his hand on top of the one Buck had over his heart, gripping it hard and feeling the trembling fingers trying to return the pressure, as the two firefighters maintained eye-contact, brown eyes distressed but determined and blue eyes frightened and confused.

“You hearing me, Buck? I’ll be so angry if you don’t hold on.” Eddie stated, trying to sound convincing, using his fear to ignite his fury. “You don’t get to leave! You don’t get to do that, not after Christopher and I …” 

Eddie’s voice broke, the anger having faded quickly into desperation. He swallowed, gathering as much of himself as he could -- his one hand holding tight to Buck’s as the other one moved up to cup the bloodied face.

“You’re our _family_, Evan.”

The blue eyes widened impossibly further before tears began to trickle out of them, Eddie thumbing them away as he fought the urge to look away – never very good with being faced with such raw, intense emotion. 

“You held on to Christopher, now it’s time to hold on to me. And don’t let go.”

Buck twitched a weary nod, his body trembled and his breaths whistled and wheezed, but his fingers tightened ever so slightly around his friend’s hand. 

Eddie nodded, receiving the message loud and clear. He released Buck’s face, allowing it to rest back against his chest as he wrapped his arm securely around the failing body, dropping his head down atop Buck’s and pressing a chaste kiss to the pale forehead.

“Don’t let go, Ev.” He pleaded. “Just hold on to me.”

And as the life raft drifted through the destruction, Eddie held tight to Buck and whispered a vow into the damp hair – a vow he knew he would keep for the rest of his days.

“I won’t let you go.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if this fic is rubbish or not. Please leave a comment or review if you have a moment, and let me know what you think! Also, if you have any interest in buying me a coffee at: ko-fi(dotcom)/samjeller, I'm saving up for a new laptop so I can actually write a full page of a fic without being bombarded by that lovely blue screen of death! ;) Thanks for reading! - Sam


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